What is Kawe? Learn here
He’s looking at me now with tears in his eyes. He tries to brush it away saying “this is silly.” He’s ashamed to cry, this is most likely the only time he’s done it so openly in a long time.
I shake my head, “no, it’s not silly. Let it out.” I pull him closer to me, his head is now on my shoulder. I comfort him and tell him it’s good to cry. He must go through this journey if he’s to get over what plagues him.
Minutes later, he’s on his feet, then almost on his knees, begging me for something that I’m unwilling to give. He wants me to make him forget.
Help him forget. But I play at being obtuse. His request falls on deaf ears and it is no wonder I look at him with derision and kiss my teeth.
Only hours before, was he telling me that “It’s just my preference” when he said that his future wife had to be White. He said that he had suffered enough in his Black skin to not want to do it to his future children. I had held my tongue then, knowing the sentiment all too well. What a hypocrite! I thought now and looked at him on his knees begging me for what I’m unwilling to give.
Has the devil blinded you and cursed your tongue so, that you’d proclaim such words into existence? I want to shout at him, but I hold my tongue again, pick up his bong and walk out to the balcony and into the starry night. I close my eyes and let the cool breeze wash away my vex as it passes and then laps at the hem of the curtain. I don’t care to look back to see how he is faring.
There is no such thing as preference when it comes to choosing a lighter skinned female over a darker skinned one. What that word hides, is the self-hate intertwined in the speaker’s words and flesh. Who taught you this preference or you really think that you were born with it? Liar!
You’d knowingly put your sisters in war with one another? Cause them to hate or envy their lighter skinned sisters for something that they’d never be? You’d cause them to bleach and tear their skin apart to fit into your narrow sized gaze of desirability?
Do you not see that you put us all to shame with your outlandish idealizations and “preferences”?
Do you not see that you mask your own demons and must free yourself from this prejudice?
When will you let go of this psychological bondage of self-hate?
We should be loving ourselves, holding ourselves and uplifting ourselves against the ones that seek to tear us apart, yet you sit here and tell me “it’s just my preference.”
You must not understand that, that which you seek to run away from is within your skin and no preference will save you from it. Will you one day also see your Black child and hate her too, or coin her different from the rest?
Let me tell you this, we are all different from the rest and uniquely so. Every one of us. Black, White, Brown, Yellow…….. whatever.
What do you think about the issues raised here? Please share your thoughts in the comment below!
Models- Courtney & Ebiye
Art director, stylist, photographer- Me
Links To Equipments I Used(I might receive a small commission if you buy using my links)
- I used the Nikon D3100(produced in 2010), here’s a newer model- Nikon D3400(produced in 2016)
2. I used the Nikon 35 mm f/1.8G lens
3. I used the book- Nikon D3100: Snapshots To Great Shots to learn.